Transformer

When I left for camp I was determined that this summer would be monumental. I knew that something in my life needed to change, and against a lot of people's better judgement, I went to Kerrville, Tx without my husband and without my family.

I left Colorado on May 26. I arrived back home August 9th. All those weeks. The walking, the lifting, the heat, the sun, the bratty kids, the ones that made you want to rip your hair out. The days I cried, the days I was exhausted. They're all rolled into one in my head. We painted our faces, cut out hundreds of pieces of paper, sang the same "little froggy" song fifty billion times a week. I had late night phone calls for twenty minutes with my husband. I took kids to the bathroom, I wiped butts and noses. I called parents and even had to send a few home for bad behavior. I have awkward tanlines, had bruises, and sleepless nights. I was almost attacked by a raccoon, struggled to get up a dam, and went to walmart more in one summer then I have in a year. I met so many awesome people, made so many amazing memories, and have instilled in myself a sense of belonging not only to the camp, but to everything the camp stands for.

I left that camp knowing I would be back, and I will. I love Texas Lions Camp. Being a counselor there has been one of the best things I have ever been. Seeing those smiles on the kids' faces, knowing the things that they are doing and feeling the way they feel. I love to get up in the morning knowing I would be waking up ten smiling camper faces, and 7 not so smiling staff faces. Camp has its good days and its bad. Towards the end I think all of the staff was starting to fade, especially me. Some days it was hard to bite your tongue. Sharing the same space with the same people for 10 weeks gets old. Never having a second to yourself gets trying. And knowing that there won't be anything as special as what you have done is awe inspiring.

I gave this summer everything I could. I gave it my energy, my strength, my time. I gave it my vacation with my husband, the gas money, the mileage on my car. I gave it everything I had it in me to give, and still I got more in return.

I am so much more confident in myself then I was before. I know now that there is so much more I can do then I thought. The fibromyalgia does not have me.Not one day did I have to sit out. I took things a bit slower some days, but not once did I let it take control. I may suffer from it, but I am not weak by any means. I am strong. I am able to do things I never thought I would be able to handle again. I know that with effort and energy, and pushing myself just a little beyond my comfort zone, I can do anything.

Never in my life have I had a nickname that stuck. I now have over three hundred people in the world that know me by Megs. I feel that this fits who I am now. I am unafraid to be me. Pixie cut, blonde, and happy in my own skin. I have imperfections, as everyone does, and yet I am more confident now then I was when I was a size 7 four years ago.

I am happy. I am happy because I did something bigger than myself. I am happy because I learned more about myself. I am happy because I am no longer afraid to be me.

And, Texas Lions Camp, I can never thank you enough.